Summer Pick Me Ups

I am not having the best of days for reasons I can't disclose, but there have been a few things which have made me enormously happy and helped me shed a couple less tears than I would have otherwise.

1. Inner Chapters Book Store in South Lake Union is having a super-sale for their second anniversary. I got: 2 Comic Books, an old McSweeney's, a maybe-not-so-great book on Social Networking, and Double Duce, which is a book that wants to have been written by Bukowski but wasn't.

2. An obscenity shouted from the street. Nice to know that people are enjoying their summers.

3. This from The Stranger. Just because it is a fantastic idea for cooling off in the summer.

Bush and Clinton Go Gray in Haiti

Former Presidents Bush and Clinton Visit Haiti- Extend their Hands to the Haitians and Apparently Go Gray All at the Same Time

I am going to be trying out Wordpress and blogging there for the time being.

http://beckstaspage.wordpress.com/

Synchronicity

Synchronicity

I was a freshman in the dorms illicitly drinking a mixture of cheap Vodka and Orange juice that was supposed to be a screw-driver, but truthfully lacked ice when a fellow Dorm-ite sidled up next to me on the bed we were sitting on.

The drink was about three-fifths Vodka and two-fifths OJ and tasted like shit and I was getting progressively drunk and trying not to show it.

The guy put his arm around my shoulder. I scooched away and stared at the clock. The time was the exact date of my birthday.

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I wrote the last story without looking at the number of words. I just looked down. Exactly 100.

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Yesterday, I was hosting some friends before a concert, which started at 8:00. I asked the time. 7:11

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The first album I bought was Michael Jackson’s, “Thriller”, the second was the Police’s “Synchronicity” and the third was “Van Halen”.

I had yet to be informed that usually people stick to one particular musical genre or another and had no concept of what “Synchronicity” might even mean.

Yesterday, I read about David Eagleman who is a neurologist studying altered time perceptions. I would like to speak to him and see if he is messing with my clocks.

Mud

I love a good mud fight now again.

You get the mud, you mush it into a little ball and before it squeezes through your fingers, you throw into the face of the person next to you.

You put on your goggles, just in case a retaliation is planned, and you duck as fast as you can when your fellow mud-slingers start throwing back. You try not to panic as it hits your face, and remember that you took enough time to protect yourself before you choose to assault someone else.

Mud fights are not always the most effective way of fighting. Waging a water battle is more effective because it is nearly impossible to load the mud into a machine squirt gun.

On the other hand, the force of the mud and how much you can smear on the face of your opponent might outweigh the ease of a water battle, which is probably why the Republican party repeatedly chooses mud fights over water fights or balloon wars.

If there is a place for mud in the case of the health care reform debate, it should be smeared squarely on the face of the health insurance industry and any politician who prioritizes his own silver-lined pockets over the health and welfare of his constituents.

A Different Version of the Ipad

Sounders Videos....Just Thinking of the Season Again.....

Who is Sarah Palin's Favorite Founding Father?

Self

self returning.

Another Day in Paradise, strip one

Ann Coulter, Conservative Sex, and Porn

Ann Coulter is a genius in her own mind only. It is tough to like someone like Ann. She's abrasive, she's a conservative political pundit who is known for her racist and less than sensitive comments. She was, however, exactly right-on about conservative women having larger orgasms than liberal women and I think I know why. No, unfortunately, I haven't gone around testing this theory; although this would be nice.

I came across an old article about a study conducted relating to online porn. Conservatives consume more online porn than liberal counterparts. What does this have to do with Ann Coulter's assertion? OK, this is where I get into my little hypothesis, which is definitely not Kinsey-sanctioned and is for fun only.

I think that at least some of those conservatives supposedly having bigger orgasms are actually the same conservative women who listen to Ann Coulter, who send their children to Jesus Camp (so that the parents can have more free time while their children are being indoctrinated) and thus feel so incredibly guilty about their sex drives that they actually have bigger orgasms.

I think most people can relate the guilt of early sex, masturbation, and porn with bigger orgasms. Guilty Sex=Bigger Orgasms. For a conservative woman, all sex outside the missionary position would be considered "guilty sex", right? How does this relate to Ann Coulter? She is the first one to point out the relationship between conservative women and bigger orgasms. OK, I know she failed to demonstrate her point with facts, but when have facts ever entered into Ann Coulter's rationale?

If the logic in this post sounds fishy, that's because I used Ann Coulter logic to write it.

The Two Party System

From my Family's Cabin...............

Farting Aerobics Instructors

I'm too easily entertained in the best of times, and also so in the worst of times. Since I came out of the closet with my farts in college, I've been attracted to what some call the lowest class of humor ever. Farting aerobics instructors rank up there pretty highly in my list of hilarious things.

The Magical Mystery of Mormon Underpants

After their support of Prop. 8, the anti-gay marriage initiative in California, the liberal blogosphere went on a rampage against Mormons at large and in my opinion rightfully so. Possibly the most delightful sites and videos have been dedicated to the great subject of "Magical Mormon Underpants".

According to this site solely devoted to the subject of Mormon Underwear (obviously someone has WAY too much time on her hands), "To millions of Mormons around the world, garments are a special piece of clothing worn as a symbolic gesture of the promises that they have made to God." The underwear are worn close to the skin and sometimes substitute for "regular underwear". The site also debunks common misconceptions people may have about the underwear. For the record, Mormon underwear does not have knee and/or nipple protectors and is NOT used as a shield to prevent young boys from masturbation.

The real "scoop" about the underwear, which are termed as "garments" comes here http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon013.htm in a page for ex-Mormons to share their past experiences and possibly get over the trauma over having been raised in a Mormon community. o

The best post came from "nonya" under the title: Little Known Benefits to Said Underwear

Yes, it seems a little strange, but after the three year mark, I can see a little humour in once upon a time wearing of magical underwear.

1. Wearing the top under the bra catches a lot of sweat when working in the hot sun.

2. You don't really see any cottage cheese in the mirror when you got the bottoms on.

3. It takes up less room then if you wear a plastic Jesus around your neck. (when riding in the car)

4. Helps create that chic unisex look!!

5. When it rides up, it's just to let you know the "spirit" is always with you by giving you a cosmic wedgie.

6. When you fart, it goes straight from your butt to God's ears.

7. If you get caught with your pants down, you still have pants on.

While it can definitely be termed sacreligous to mock a sacred part of another culture, I also find their donations to the campaign highly offensive. Of course, to me, human rights have a bigger place in religion than "sacred underwear", but that could be wrong. I don't know.

What do you think of either Magical Mormon Underpants or the Mormon support (and subsequent denial of support) of a campaign engineered in nothing but hate.

Get Over that Hangover

Soju Mama

Yahoo News: Masters of the Obvious

I particularly like the study about walking and biking to work being good for health. That is not quite as good as the health booklet's topic, which is somehow controversial: teen sex can be fun.

It's Raining Frogs!

Perhaps you recall the somewhat mesmerizing scene from the movie "Magnolia" in which it is literally raining frogs. In Ishikawa, Japan, this may have become a reality. During torrential rains, "tadpoles, fish, and the occasional frog" appear to have been found in fields and playgrounds outside of their habitat.

No one is quite sure how they arrived, although there is no lack of theories for the strange events. Was it strong winds carrying the tadpoles from their homes or even birds carrying and then dropping their prey onto the ground? Were the animals "sucked up by waterspouts"? Or was it perhaps something more mysterious better investigated by Mulder and Scully than ornithologists and meterologists? Or, as Masafumi Matsui, a professor specializing in amphibians, was it just an elaborate prank? http://www.japantoday.com/category/national/view/ishikawa-mystery-deepens-first-tadpoles-rain-down-now-dead-fish-found

The latest news on the street (and fields) of Japan is that the mystery is spreading other parts of Japan.

"In a field in Shiwa, Iwate Prefecture, a 67-year-old woman said she heard a pitter-patter sound at around 6 p.m. Saturday and soon after found about a dozen tiny fishlike creatures lying on a sheet covering crops in the field. Some of the animals were still moving, she said."

As they say, there's nothing quite like the "pitter-patter" of little tadpoles plop, plop, plopping around you.

Kermit the Frog was not available for comment.

Yoga 4 Dogs

The NYT has a great article on Yoga for Dogs.....it's a special place where dogs and people can bond while developing greater flexibility and deeper breathing......imagine a dog trying to control their breathing....it's difficult to do, isn't it?

I like this woman's take on it:

“A stuffed animal — but not even a dog-shaped stuffed animal — was used by the instructor,” she said. Owners struggled to get their very real dogs to replicate the stuffed-animal poses, she said, and bags of treats were used to get the dogs to change positions. “It was lunacy,” Ms. Apro recalled. “Peanuts, my retired racer greyhound, didn’t participate at all. Instead, I did downward-facing dog while he ate the most treats he’s ever had in a 60-minute period.”

Poor Peanuts seems to have wasted his precious time.

The Master Plan

South Korea 'poisoning' claim

By Kim Junghyun in Seoul

Tuesday, 7 April 2009



South Korea has rejected claims by North Korea that it poisoned its players before last week's 2010 World Cup qualifier in Seoul, as tensions mounted over the North's long-range rocket launch on Sunday.

OK, now I understand why they tried to fire the test rocket. They were angry about the poisoned players in the soccer game. I sense a master plan unfolding right before my eyes....