Snippets.....

Summer Pick Me Ups

2010-07-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

I am not having the best of days for reasons I can't disclose, but there have been a few things which have made me enormously happy and helped me shed a couple less tears than I would have otherwise.

1. Inner Chapters Book Store in South Lake Union is having a super-sale for their second anniversary. I got: 2 Comic Books, an old McSweeney's, a maybe-not-so-great book on Social Networking, and Double Duce, which is a book that wants to have been written by Bukowski but wasn't.

2. An obscenity shouted from the street. Nice to know that people are enjoying their summers.

3. This from The Stranger. Just because it is a fantastic idea for cooling off in the summer.

Bush and Clinton Go Gray in Haiti

2010-03-22T21:53:00.000-07:00

Former Presidents Bush and Clinton Visit Haiti- Extend their Hands to the Haitians and Apparently Go Gray All at the Same Time

2010-02-12T02:07:00.001-08:00

I am going to be trying out Wordpress and blogging there for the time being.

http://beckstaspage.wordpress.com/

Synchronicity

2010-02-12T01:23:00.000-08:00

Synchronicity

I was a freshman in the dorms illicitly drinking a mixture of cheap Vodka and Orange juice that was supposed to be a screw-driver, but truthfully lacked ice when a fellow Dorm-ite sidled up next to me on the bed we were sitting on.

The drink was about three-fifths Vodka and two-fifths OJ and tasted like shit and I was getting progressively drunk and trying not to show it.

The guy put his arm around my shoulder. I scooched away and stared at the clock. The time was the exact date of my birthday.

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I wrote the last story without looking at the number of words. I just looked down. Exactly 100.

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Yesterday, I was hosting some friends before a concert, which started at 8:00. I asked the time. 7:11

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The first album I bought was Michael Jackson’s, “Thriller”, the second was the Police’s “Synchronicity” and the third was “Van Halen”.

I had yet to be informed that usually people stick to one particular musical genre or another and had no concept of what “Synchronicity” might even mean.

Yesterday, I read about David Eagleman who is a neurologist studying altered time perceptions. I would like to speak to him and see if he is messing with my clocks.

Mud

2010-02-11T16:47:00.001-08:00

I love a good mud fight now again.

You get the mud, you mush it into a little ball and before it squeezes through your fingers, you throw into the face of the person next to you.

You put on your goggles, just in case a retaliation is planned, and you duck as fast as you can when your fellow mud-slingers start throwing back. You try not to panic as it hits your face, and remember that you took enough time to protect yourself before you choose to assault someone else.

Mud fights are not always the most effective way of fighting. Waging a water battle is more effective because it is nearly impossible to load the mud into a machine squirt gun.

On the other hand, the force of the mud and how much you can smear on the face of your opponent might outweigh the ease of a water battle, which is probably why the Republican party repeatedly chooses mud fights over water fights or balloon wars.

If there is a place for mud in the case of the health care reform debate, it should be smeared squarely on the face of the health insurance industry and any politician who prioritizes his own silver-lined pockets over the health and welfare of his constituents.

A Different Version of the Ipad

2010-01-27T17:15:00.000-08:00

Sounders Videos....Just Thinking of the Season Again.....

2010-01-15T00:30:00.001-08:00

Who is Sarah Palin's Favorite Founding Father?

2010-01-14T12:57:00.001-08:00

Self

2010-01-01T15:04:00.001-08:00

self returning.

Another Day in Paradise, strip one

2009-10-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

Ann Coulter, Conservative Sex, and Porn

2009-10-08T13:44:00.001-07:00

Ann Coulter is a genius in her own mind only. It is tough to like someone like Ann. She's abrasive, she's a conservative political pundit who is known for her racist and less than sensitive comments. She was, however, exactly right-on about conservative women having larger orgasms than liberal women and I think I know why. No, unfortunately, I haven't gone around testing this theory; although this would be nice.

I came across an old article about a study conducted relating to online porn. Conservatives consume more online porn than liberal counterparts. What does this have to do with Ann Coulter's assertion? OK, this is where I get into my little hypothesis, which is definitely not Kinsey-sanctioned and is for fun only.

I think that at least some of those conservatives supposedly having bigger orgasms are actually the same conservative women who listen to Ann Coulter, who send their children to Jesus Camp (so that the parents can have more free time while their children are being indoctrinated) and thus feel so incredibly guilty about their sex drives that they actually have bigger orgasms.

I think most people can relate the guilt of early sex, masturbation, and porn with bigger orgasms. Guilty Sex=Bigger Orgasms. For a conservative woman, all sex outside the missionary position would be considered "guilty sex", right? How does this relate to Ann Coulter? She is the first one to point out the relationship between conservative women and bigger orgasms. OK, I know she failed to demonstrate her point with facts, but when have facts ever entered into Ann Coulter's rationale?

If the logic in this post sounds fishy, that's because I used Ann Coulter logic to write it.

The Two Party System

2009-10-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

From my Family's Cabin...............

Farting Aerobics Instructors

2009-08-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

I'm too easily entertained in the best of times, and also so in the worst of times. Since I came out of the closet with my farts in college, I've been attracted to what some call the lowest class of humor ever. Farting aerobics instructors rank up there pretty highly in my list of hilarious things.

The Magical Mystery of Mormon Underpants

2009-08-04T13:17:00.000-07:00

After their support of Prop. 8, the anti-gay marriage initiative in California, the liberal blogosphere went on a rampage against Mormons at large and in my opinion rightfully so. Possibly the most delightful sites and videos have been dedicated to the great subject of "Magical Mormon Underpants".

According to this site solely devoted to the subject of Mormon Underwear (obviously someone has WAY too much time on her hands), "To millions of Mormons around the world, garments are a special piece of clothing worn as a symbolic gesture of the promises that they have made to God." The underwear are worn close to the skin and sometimes substitute for "regular underwear". The site also debunks common misconceptions people may have about the underwear. For the record, Mormon underwear does not have knee and/or nipple protectors and is NOT used as a shield to prevent young boys from masturbation.

The real "scoop" about the underwear, which are termed as "garments" comes here http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon013.htm in a page for ex-Mormons to share their past experiences and possibly get over the trauma over having been raised in a Mormon community. o

The best post came from "nonya" under the title: Little Known Benefits to Said Underwear

Yes, it seems a little strange, but after the three year mark, I can see a little humour in once upon a time wearing of magical underwear.

1. Wearing the top under the bra catches a lot of sweat when working in the hot sun.

2. You don't really see any cottage cheese in the mirror when you got the bottoms on.

3. It takes up less room then if you wear a plastic Jesus around your neck. (when riding in the car)

4. Helps create that chic unisex look!!

5. When it rides up, it's just to let you know the "spirit" is always with you by giving you a cosmic wedgie.

6. When you fart, it goes straight from your butt to God's ears.

7. If you get caught with your pants down, you still have pants on.

While it can definitely be termed sacreligous to mock a sacred part of another culture, I also find their donations to the campaign highly offensive. Of course, to me, human rights have a bigger place in religion than "sacred underwear", but that could be wrong. I don't know.

What do you think of either Magical Mormon Underpants or the Mormon support (and subsequent denial of support) of a campaign engineered in nothing but hate.

Get Over that Hangover

2009-08-02T15:19:00.001-07:00

Soju Mama

2009-08-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

Yahoo News: Masters of the Obvious

2009-07-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

I particularly like the study about walking and biking to work being good for health. That is not quite as good as the health booklet's topic, which is somehow controversial: teen sex can be fun.

It's Raining Frogs!

2009-06-17T13:59:00.001-07:00

Perhaps you recall the somewhat mesmerizing scene from the movie "Magnolia" in which it is literally raining frogs. In Ishikawa, Japan, this may have become a reality. During torrential rains, "tadpoles, fish, and the occasional frog" appear to have been found in fields and playgrounds outside of their habitat.

No one is quite sure how they arrived, although there is no lack of theories for the strange events. Was it strong winds carrying the tadpoles from their homes or even birds carrying and then dropping their prey onto the ground? Were the animals "sucked up by waterspouts"? Or was it perhaps something more mysterious better investigated by Mulder and Scully than ornithologists and meterologists? Or, as Masafumi Matsui, a professor specializing in amphibians, was it just an elaborate prank? http://www.japantoday.com/category/national/view/ishikawa-mystery-deepens-first-tadpoles-rain-down-now-dead-fish-found

The latest news on the street (and fields) of Japan is that the mystery is spreading other parts of Japan.

"In a field in Shiwa, Iwate Prefecture, a 67-year-old woman said she heard a pitter-patter sound at around 6 p.m. Saturday and soon after found about a dozen tiny fishlike creatures lying on a sheet covering crops in the field. Some of the animals were still moving, she said."

As they say, there's nothing quite like the "pitter-patter" of little tadpoles plop, plop, plopping around you.

Kermit the Frog was not available for comment.

Yoga 4 Dogs

2009-04-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

The NYT has a great article on Yoga for Dogs.....it's a special place where dogs and people can bond while developing greater flexibility and deeper breathing......imagine a dog trying to control their breathing....it's difficult to do, isn't it?

I like this woman's take on it:

“A stuffed animal — but not even a dog-shaped stuffed animal — was used by the instructor,” she said. Owners struggled to get their very real dogs to replicate the stuffed-animal poses, she said, and bags of treats were used to get the dogs to change positions. “It was lunacy,” Ms. Apro recalled. “Peanuts, my retired racer greyhound, didn’t participate at all. Instead, I did downward-facing dog while he ate the most treats he’s ever had in a 60-minute period.”

Poor Peanuts seems to have wasted his precious time.

The Master Plan

2009-04-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

South Korea 'poisoning' claim

By Kim Junghyun in Seoul

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

South Korea has rejected claims by North Korea that it poisoned its players before last week's 2010 World Cup qualifier in Seoul, as tensions mounted over the North's long-range rocket launch on Sunday.

OK, now I understand why they tried to fire the test rocket. They were angry about the poisoned players in the soccer game. I sense a master plan unfolding right before my eyes....

Korean Missile Test

2009-04-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

This is from today's NYT.:

I am not afraid of North Korea. I lived in Korea off and on for ten-ish years. In the summer of 1997, North Korea threatened to attack South Korea. We were encouraged to register at the American embassy should anything untowardly go down. Our friends and family back in the states were aghast that we would stay in the danger zone.

The South Koreans, on the other hand, weren't scared at all. They told us to relax, it would be all right.

And, so it was. In the fall of 1997, Asia had an economic melt-down and the threat of North Korea was soon forgotten. Not only did they not attack, it seemingly was not even mentioned again.....

In my opinion, North Korea has had a history of trying to manipulate South Korea using threats, the one-people idea (The Korean word for the Korean peninsula means one-nation), and various other strategic tactics. In the press, Kim Jong Il has been shown to be a kind of kooky guy with a fascination for Hollywood movies. I think reports of his craziness have been greatly exaggerated and that he knew exactly what he was doing.

Now, the situation might have changed some. Kim Jong Il may be gravely ill and it isn't clear, so far as I know, who has been making the decisions. It's anybody's guess what their true game is, but I'm thinking it's more of the same.

SPAM MESSAGE of the DAY

2009-04-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

Go Sounders!

2009-04-07T02:00:00.000-07:00

http://soundersboard.blogspot.com/

Metrosexuals.....

2009-04-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

Isn't really a lot of what we call "Metrosexual" just French?

Cherry Blossoms

2009-04-02T03:16:00.000-07:00

I spent a lot of time in Korea. Too much time, you could say, which may account for the cynicism of my posting.

Every year in the spring in Korea, two things become the subject of conversation without fail.

1. Yellow Dust, the terrible pollution that the winds blow over from China for a few days each spring, causing terrible eye infections and lung problems. Warnings are issued to people to stay indoors and visibility decreases to the point of being in a contiguous fog.

2. Cherry blossoms. In Korea, it's the thing to see. The funny thing about it to me, though, is that Koreans seem to think that Cherry Blossoms exist ONLY IN KOREA. Nevertheymind the picture above from a news report in WADC. They didn't want to hear about the cherry trees in my backyard.

2009-03-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) -- A 14-year-old New Jersey girl has been accused of child pornography after posting nearly 30 explicit nude pictures of herself on MySpace.com -- charges that could force her to register as a sex offender if convicted.

Is this another case where the punishment does not fit the crime? Registering as a sex offender means she would have to introduce herself into each new neighborhood she moved into for the rest of her natural life. WTF? For the said crime of what? Putting pictures of herself online.

From the article I read, I got the idea that the prosecutor wanted to make this an example case to stop the terrible scourge of minors sending each other text messages w/compromising photos of themselves. I think that we are indeed in new territory here, but don't we have more important things to worry about than naked teenagers sending pictures to other naked teenagers?

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/03/26/us/AP-Teen-Child-Porn.html

Nickelsville

2009-03-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

What does Seattle, Washington have in common with Fresno, California? Tent City. While Seattle may be riding high with the successful addition of the Sounders,100 residents are still living in tents and have been living there for quite some time. These are people who are trying to organize themselves to live a better life. Their website can be found here.

Everyone from The New York Times to Oprah are talking about the conditions of people in the tents. Earlier I posted about the Slumdog Millionaires young stars and the unjustness of their lives in India. They may not have been much better off here.

The Pope is an Idiot

2009-03-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

From Yahoo News:

… YAOUNDE, Cameroon – Pope Benedict XVI said condoms are not the answer to the AIDS epidemic in Africa and can make the problem worse, setting off criticism Tuesday as he began a weeklong trip to the continent where some 22 million people are living with HIV.

I don't understand this guy. I guess he is just taking the place in Africa where the Bush administration left off. Bush's abstinence-only education program was such a resounding success there in halting the spread of the AIDS virus that the Pope decided to continue on his merry little path down the same road. I would also like an explanation of how exactly condoms make AIDS worse. From what little understanding I have of the whole thing, those little rubber things are just about the best barrier we've got.

I also think the Pope is forgetting his roots. He's from Bavaria, right? Aren't they supposed to be happy-go-lucky beer-swilling folk, who presumably, do not rely on abstinence as their only form of birth control or as AIDS prevention?

Sore Throat

2009-03-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

OK, so I am not permanently Bozo the Clown, thank God, where ever She may be. I do, however, seem to be afflicted with a sore throat that makes it difficult to swallow, perhaps giving me, for the first time, the ultimate excuse for not swallowing....

Shoes and Bombs

2009-03-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

Justice is served once again.

The Guy who is now a hero for throwing a shoe at George W. Bush was just sentenced to 3 years in jail for his crime.

The guy who started the war in Iraq, whose administration lied to start the war in Iraq, what did he get for his war crimes? a shoe thrown at him. which didn't hit him because he ducked.

Image taken from www.iraqbodycount.org

BIg Red

2009-03-11T21:57:00.000-07:00

Looked in the mirror tonight and being the observant girl that I am, noticed that my peach fuzz was showing up again above my lip. I did what I had been meaning to do for days and took a cream to get it off. After leaving it on too long (despite a warning from my husband), I now have what looks like a Clown Mouth or the mouth of a child eating a Cherry Popsicle.....you get the idea. I've been looking all over the Internet and am worried that I can never show my face in public again. Of all the times not to listen to my husband, why did I choose this one? I'm also wondering if people will notice that I'm walking around with a kleenex attached to my mouth. I could just kind of blend in like Cabbage Head from "Kids in the Hall". In Seattle, there are surely sights weirder to see than me.

Old Man

2009-03-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

Last fall, almost every woman I knew of a certain age was in love with Edward Cullen, the sullen (haha, couldn't resist) Vampire from the Twilight series. I resisted reading any books for a long time and I didn't see the movie. (although, for a much-younger man, I'll have to agree with Tina Fey that the actor is sexy)

A lot of teenage girls were also in love with the Vampire. Something about his looks, personality, and that thrill of being with someone who secretly wants to drain you of all of your blood because your scent is so sexy is irresistible. I guess I can understand that to a certain degree.

But what I can't understand is that no one is creeped out by the fact Edward Cullen is not really a high school student. In fact, he is really, really old. Like over 100 years old. What would most men say if their daughters were to date Colonel Saunders? What would most 16-year-old girls say to a 30-year-old guy?

I only read the first Twilight, so I don't know if they have sex, or what the nature of their relationship becomes. I don't really care. But I do wonder about the old dude in a young body with the hot young girl.

(On an entirely unrelated note, some *Jehovah's Witnesses just knocked on our door, at which point, I left and pretended that I wasn't here, though they could have seen me through the window. I think in a way Jehovah's Witnesses and Vampires have something in common; you have be careful and not invite either one of them into your doorway.)

*I went to school with two very nice Jehovah's Witnesses, so I wish to say that it is nothing personal. I just don't like discussing The Watchtower and the end of the world as we know it in my doorway.

Korean Education

2009-03-10T23:36:00.000-07:00

From the Korea Times:

Obama Lauds Korea’s Education of Children

U.S. President Barack Obama Tuesday called for the United States to look to South Korea in adopting longer school days and after-school programs for American children to help them survive in an era of keen global competition, according to Yonhap News Agency Wednesday.

"Our children _ listen to this _ our children spend over a month less in school than children in South Korea every year," Obama told a gathering at the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce here. "That's no way to prepare them for a 21st-century economy."

Obama made the remarks while emphasizing the need for sweeping reform of the U.S. education system for which he earmarked $41 billion out of the $787 billion stimulus package to cope with the worst recession in decades.

"We can no longer afford an academic calendar designed for when America was a nation of farmers who needed their children at home plowing the land at the end of each day," he said. "That calendar may have once made sense, but today it puts us at a competitive disadvantage."

The U.S. president called for Americans "not only to expand effective after-school programs but to rethink the school day to incorporate more time, whether it's during the summer or through expanded-day programs for children who need it."

From me: After my experience teaching at the English camp for Korean kids recently, I learned that the Korean education system has serious flaws. The kids work in a virtual pressure-cooker, in which all the education they are focusing on is rote. The punishments are supposed to be regulated in the schools, but teachers are still caught giving out strict punishments to "problem" students. Punishments at the camp I taught at included having students hold chairs above their heads for a minimum of 30 minutes to enforce discipline. The usual punishment of push-ups became so routine that it lost its effectiveness. Students were told they were "worthless" and "garbage". The leader was not cruel or unusual- she was just meting out the punishment that the parents of the children would expect. The irony was that the intention of the camp was "leadership training"- in many ways it felt more like the army.

Korea is constantly trying to improve/revise its education system, but gets caught in a Catch-22 in trying to change because everything is built around the university entrance exam. Once a student enters a top university (of which there are 3), his (her) life is golden. Reaching that point is almost impossible, though and students spend a good part of their K-12 years working towards that goal. Imagine studying your whole life for a test, and the test changes at the last minute, making everything that you've studied for meaningless and obsolete.

I'm sure Obama just made the statement in passing and it was probably a speech writer trying to impress someone, but I'm not sure that this is the model that the US needs to follow at this moment.

We Don't Even Know the Meaning of Sacrifice

2009-03-05T23:16:00.000-08:00

I know that we are experiencing real problems in the United States. However, I think they pale in comparison to another crisis happening in Africa:

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said Thursday that Sudan's expulsion of 13 major aid organizations will cause "irrevocable damage" to humanitarian operations in Darfur and called on the government to urgently reconsider its decision.

Catherine Bragg, the U.N.'s deputy emergency relief coordinator, said the organizations are responsible for "at least half" of the humanitarian operations in Darfur and are vital partners for U.N. agencies in delivering food, providing health care, water, education and other services.

"With the loss of these NGOs, 1.1 million people will be without food aid, 1.1 million will be without health care, and over 1 million will be without potable water," she said.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090306/ap_on_re_af/ml_sudan_international_court

Is Denistry Recession-Proof?

2009-03-03T22:32:00.000-08:00

I had an ad in my mailbox for a free teeth-whitening with an X-ray. The dentist was a pretty, smiley blonde, and it made me wonder how and why anyone would willingly go into denistry? It has to be ONLY for the money, I think. Also, now that people are getting laid off, aren't the dental plans first to go? Do you think people will regularly get their check-ups?

Some Perspective on the Economy

2009-03-02T23:10:00.000-08:00

On Beauty and my Medicine Cabinet

2009-02-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

A few thoughts on beauty that I would like to share, but probably should not.

I thought about making a similar graph after noticing today how much my hair gel looks and feels like lubricant. I might do an investigation of the ingredient list. This could save me some money in the future on lubricant.

Battery-Powered

2009-02-27T14:54:00.001-08:00

Nope, not vibrators, but cigarettes. Just like the marijuana "vaporizers", there are now battery-operated "cigarettes". Of course, there is controversy as to how safe they are and it seems to me that regulators are always on the look-out for something new to regulate, if for no other reason than to justify their very existence.

The best quote of the article I read:

"I was intrigued by this new technology," said the pudgy, bespectacled Li as he surveyed products displayed in glass cases at Ruyan's brightly-lit shop in the capital. "I heard acupuncture is effective as well, but this method sounds more painless."

Accupuncture vrs. Battery-Operated Cigarettes

I love it! That's even better than Monsters vrs. Aliens!

The Economy

2009-02-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

Hitting hard in WA, DC:

from WAPOST

Brenda Waller, 42, of Herndon said her consulting firm has frozen salaries, and she's worried about the future. She has called off the lawn care service for the coming summer and asked the woman who does her nails to cut them extra short -- so the manicure will last longer. And no more pedicures. But she is holding on to DoodyCalls, a company that cleans up after her pets in the yard. Founder Jacob D'Aniello said his Charlottesville-based company grew by 21 percent last year.

"The only time I really felt we'd be in trouble," he said, "is if everybody woke up one morning and decided they liked picking up dog poop."

Hell's Kitchen

2009-02-26T23:52:00.001-08:00

Warning: this post is all about MEAT and may not be safe for vegetarians.

Home alone tonight and not much to do? Watch Hell's Kitchen on Hulu. I did and it did not disappoint.

A good portion of the show took place in a meat-packing warehouse, with blood, guts, and hanging cow carcasses all around. Even the toughest of chefs was disgusted. Of course, Colleen, the perky blond contestant, grew up in Omaha, Nebraska, "the beef capital of the United States" and was highly familiar with the scene and the information about cow parts that Chef Ramsey was giving her. It was with a tinge of schadenfreude that I watched her choke on mislabeling the cow parts on the next segment of the show.

Because the girls' lost the meat-labeling competition, they had to be punished. Nope, don't get too excited...no spankings. They had to carry a 1200 lb side of beef to the kitchen and butcher, after which they got to eat all of the organs, which led to a very festive on-screen barforama.

The boys, who won the contest, were flown by private jet to an undisclosed winery for wine-tasting and then treated to dinner at a premier steakhouse in the region.

Gonzo and Arrested Development

2009-02-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

After choosing Gonzo for the subject of my first Obama Poster, I then stumbled upon the greatest news I've heard all day: Supposedly, Arrested Development will be made into a movie later this year. That may be old news to some folks, but it's news to me.

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/02/arrested-development-movie-will-happen-this-year-j.html

Ithaca Money

2009-02-17T18:58:00.000-08:00

I just read this about Ithaca, which has been making its own play money. The catch is that the play money can be redeemed for a multitude of services in and around town. Need a drum maker or an attorney? No problem. You can pay or partially pay using your "Ithaca Hours". The up side according to this article is that the community members feel closer to each other, many people benefit, and some people in Ithaca can avoid the predicted inflation.

Janie's Got a Gun: Seattle 2008 Crime Stats

2009-02-17T13:35:00.001-08:00

This is Seattle's Crime Rate from 2008. Is your property really worth shooting someone? Another interesting statistic.....the number of murders in Seattle in 2008? 34

Think twice before getting a gun.

Now I know My ABCs......

2009-02-16T20:13:00.000-08:00

My New Favorite Game

The Stars

2009-02-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

I'm not talking about movie stars, I'm talking about the stars and how they can possibly guide our lives. I've been reading Free Will Astrology for a while now, not particularly because I believe everything Rob Brezny has to say, but more because I enjoy his positive bent on life and find his quirky examples fascinating.

In a different time and a different place, I signed up for a different Horoscope altogether. It comes daily to the e-mail address that I created solely for junk and it is pretty good. As Larry David from "Curb Your Enthusiasm" would say, it's "pretty, pretty, good."

A sample?

You tend to over-think sometimes. It's not because your intellect is overwhelming, as you might like to imagine. In fact, it's the opposite. You're just not clever enough to make it in today's world.

A Valentine's Day Treat?

Some days are all about meeting people. Since you're terrified of being alone, you start to get frisky with desperation once surrounded by people. Go ahead and flirt; people expect that from a floozy.

I think this is the feel-good Horoscope of the year. Yesterday's was equally delightful. Luckily, I have a sense of humor and a strong constitution or I don't know what I would do. Maybe the astrologers can consider a career in Fortune Cookie writing as their new jobs or another career as writers for a suicide blog......

You can Bank on that!

2009-02-15T17:01:00.000-08:00

I have a hard time feeling sorry for the banks. The cost of an overdraft at Wells Fargo? 35 bucks....The cost of a "free overdraft" at Bank of America? 25 bucks....The cost to bailout any of the other banks whose fees and charges are equally extravagant? Priceless...

Citigroup Inc., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and Wells Fargo & Co. each received $25 billion from TARP, the biggest beneficiaries of the program that injected $195.6 billion in more than 330 U.S. banks as of Feb. 10, according to a report from the U.S. Treasury.

It's nice to know that the taxpayer is being bled from both ends, as a little person struggling with a mortgage or to pay the bills, or as a taxpayer, financing the biggest bailouts in history alongside the biggest payouts of executives in history. Why people are getting compensated so highly for failure remains a mystery to the rest of us....

Slumdog Slumdog

2009-02-09T15:16:00.000-08:00

I just read this headline and was deeply disturbed:

Slumdog Millionaire's Child Actors Still Live in 'Grinding Poverty' in Mumbai

Apparently, the child actors in last year's top hit were only paid in terms of local wages and are still living in the slums. This is an irony beyond ironies; specifically, that a movie that intended to highlight the tortuous living conditions in the slums of India would not offer the child actors a way out of the slums of India, despite its breakaway success and Oscar nominations. Way to go, Fox Searchlight!

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/123542/slumdog_millionaire%27s_child_actors_still_live_in_%27grinding_poverty%27_in_mumbai/

So True

2009-02-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

Cultural Divide, Hall of Shame

2009-02-01T12:30:00.000-08:00

After the mix-up with the Korean girls shouting "I love you" to the inner-city kids and the prank phone call from the inner-city kids -"I want some Chinese pussy" and the ensuing lectures., I read this in one of the kid's English journals....

Negro. 'Someone' we love love you. This mean 'together tonight' Oh no
Teacher mischief distrust me.
I strong unchastity.
I'm really not an act.

I would chalk that up as a cultural lesson learned.

Looking Mighty Fine....

2009-01-31T17:39:00.000-08:00

The Bailout

2009-01-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

This leapt out at me after reading The Stranger and Americablog who to give credit where credit is due, posted this second and first, respectively. I disagree with the bailout, but I also disagree with the following definition of socialism. What up people?

“I think President Obama painted everyone with a broad stroke,” said Brian McCaffrey, 55, a Wall Street lawyer who was on his way to see a client. “The way we pay our taxes is bonuses. The only way that we’ll get any of our bailout money back is from taxes on bonuses. I think bonuses should be looked at on a case by case basis, or you turn into a socialist.”

link

Spoon Man

2009-01-31T11:29:00.000-08:00

Cultural Divide

2009-01-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

The hotel here in upstate New York survives by having large groups come in. So, today, instead of only the Korean group, we've got a group of high school students on their senior trip here from the big city. They are big, with some of the guys looking like they are 30 years old and they are extremely loud.

Contrast that to our little group of "angels". We heard some Korean kids in the hall yelling out, "We love you!" Sweet, but really, really misguided. I am not sure they would necessarily get the response they would like to.

At 1:00, we got a prank call to our room, "We want some Chinese pussy!". The Koreans would be mad for all the wrong reasons: not that they are being sexually exploited, but that they were called Chinese. Overheard today: "I'm going to fuck these Chinese people up." It's going to be an interesting weekend for sure.

The Next Day

2009-01-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

Am thinking that I am not going to win a teacher of the year award. The reason: WWF style wrestling in my class today, only with real chairs and real punches. No serious injuries, but I did not come out unscathed. I have a bruise and a small abrasion on my wrist to prove that I was involved in the scuffle. The interesting part? These boys are roommates at the camp. The teachers don't think it's necessary to separate them because they only have a few days left. I'm just hoping nobody gets really hurt.

My Day

2009-01-29T07:47:00.000-08:00

8:30 Put in Contacts, Purple Shirt, tights, and a skirt
8:35 Spill Strawberry Yogurt on Purple Shirt
8:40 Rinse Purple shirt off, realize it is still wet and cleverly cover it with a purple sweater.
8:45 Walk to Conference Room 6 to prepare
9:00 Teach low level students about the planets and solar system
9:50 Break Time
9:51 Fat boy (Gorilla Meat) makes the youngest boy in the class cry
10:01 Break time is finished
10:02 Angry boy makes Gorilla Meat cry. Gorilla Meat cries on a daily basis, often fakes injuries for attention and causes many problems, so I ignore him.
10:40 Put two students in their respective corners after a friendly boxing match goes awry
10:52 Realize that this is a bright spot in my day because I have a job, albeit a temporary and often un-filling one and thank my lucky stars that I am not the president of the United States.
11:03 Realize that I need to take a web designing course in order to learn how to put a picture of Gonzo adjacent to a picture of a spoon with something like Gonzo plus Spoon equals Magic.
11:06 Most students are finished. I am currently debating letting them leave a little early
2:14 Surf the Internet for how to deal with difficult people in order to deal with my co-workers and students. Recognize that I am 10% of the problem, they are 47% of the problem and the remainder is due to a mix between cultural differences, differing teaching styles, and stress.
4:45 The day is almost over. Watch as male middle school student pulls the table cloth over his lap. Decide not to speculate as to why the table cloth is there. Catch two girls for skipping out on class early. Decide to finally punish them Korean style, with chairs over their heads. Am waiting until after break to realize this particular dream. Am wishing I could photograph the event, but also recognize that this might land me in trouble.

God Speaks

2009-01-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

We all know that God works in mysterious ways. Does He/She talk through us? The Mormons believe that God talks through their higher ups; priests are also blessed with His holy word. What about a high school girl in Mississippi who speaks in tongues, has secret information about people's families that no one could know, and makes predictions about her classmates' lives. Her classmates claim it's the devil or a demon speaking through her, she disagrees, saying it is for sure God. If it wasn't God, she would be throwing chairs or something else.

Of course, "Clanton continues to go to class. She said God hasn't spoken through her since Wednesday."

Read all about it here:

http://www.10news.com/education/18209396/detail.html

When You're Having One of Those Days.....

2009-01-28T16:45:00.000-08:00

Reality

2009-01-27T07:13:00.000-08:00

Reality continues to be a theme of the media around me, maybe reflecting the world around us. If its not real, then the turmoil and suffering are not either. I just watched an episode of the Simpsons in which Lisa and her new best friend, Julia, create a fictitious world that threatens their real world, even causing Lisa to run away and skip out on her (GASP) Mock UN duties. In the end, when she is presented the choice, she chooses the current world and in effect "breaks up" with her best friend.

As someone who had an imaginary sister from California at the age of 4, I am not sure that my parents did me a favor when they took her out of the house by forcing me to share my Christmas presents with her.

It might have been nice to have had a sister, even if no one could see, talk to, or touch her.

On the other hand, there's a lot to be said for "reality", too. My imagination is not good enough to actually taste the food that's being eaten in my imaginary restaurants and I doubt I could feel the violence of a Fight Club environment, although at times I would particularly relish punching myself in the face.

Emergency Yodel

2009-01-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

Because, come on, in these troubled times, who doesn't have a hard time making it through the day?

http://www.emergencyyodel.com/

Meditation and Spoon Bending

2009-01-21T14:37:00.000-08:00

At the Korean camp we're at, we had a big discussion about reality with the other foreign teachers, the bus driver, and a American guy who is a high-level practitioner of the Korean meditation group the hotel is associated with. Spoon-bending was, of course, a highlight of the conversation, the idea being that through meditation, a person can stick a spoon on their forehead. The practitioner said he had participated in a seminar in which spoons bent into circles around themselves, but that he couldn't do it. As soon as he left the table, I tried the spoon-sticking trick, which wasn't nearly as impressive as I thought it was, being that I am incapable of meditation, but was able to get both the soup spoon and the regular spoon to stick on my forehead within 3.3 seconds, making me a superhuman of possibly the third order Soon, we all looked like a bunch of dorks sitting around the table with spoons on our heads. I did not mention that the first time I saw the spoon trick was on the Muppet Show and that it becomes exponentially easier depending on the size of your nose. Bending a spoon around itself was beyond me, which would have either made me a guru of the highest order or the greatest dork in the world, something to which I've always aspired to be as the co-founder of the Dorkiosity Movement.

Bending reality was the theme or reading I was assigned to do for the day. I just finished an easy to read essay by Chuck Klosterman on movies that eliminate reality and give the characters the choice between living their satisfying but possibly empty lives or living in the "new World". He cited "The Matrix", and "Vanilla Sky" as examples of this. Don't most of us bend reality anyway? Coffee, tea, drugs, sports, booze, sex, religion, meditation, great conversations that make you feel alive, reading, or numbing yourself to a certain degree in an attempt to dull the pain. Kids these days even cut themselves or engage in auto-erotica, in what seems like an attempt to feel alive.

Radio

2009-01-14T18:06:00.000-08:00

On Christmas night, we were driving around in search of an open restaurant or bar and were listening to a random station that we never tune into. There was a great call-in talk show for men to get advice about women.

Among the calls, the ins and outs of keeping a bull-pen", or putting the girls in rotation for sex. Also, why not to date single mothers: namely, the reason that they are "easy" is that they want to have more kids.

Seemed like the perfect show to fade out the beautiful white Christmas we had in Seattle - NOT!

Report from the Camp

2009-01-07T16:16:00.000-08:00

I am currently 2 miles from the middle of nowhere preparing to teach English to Koreans at a big hotel that is mostly empty at the moment. The hotel is owned and operated by Koreans who are big into Dahn Hak, a traditional Korean meditation group. The hotel grounds are nice and the only thing differentiating the place from the hotel in The Shining is the lack of large shrubbery. So far, there are not any signs that the place is haunted, nor are there any indications that I will turn into a mass murderer in the middle of the camp. That said, there has already been a 4am false fire drill and a paranoia on my part that there are hidden cameras in my room.

The teaching staff has wide levels of experience. Needing a teacher at the last minute, the camp asked their human resources director to step in for one class. I am confident she will do well, but it seems very Korean to ask someone to go the extra mile. The yoga instructor and music teacher are basically indentured servants who are "working off" their tuition for a meditation retreat they took here earlier. Their reunion was joyful as they reminisced about Korean drumming and the guy who always breathed loudly when he slept.

Tomorrow we are going to sign contracts with a lawyer/yoga instructor/past EFL teacher who has definitely mastered the art of marketing himself as a can-do man. His resume is certainly diverse and I'm sure he'll do well for himself in this troubled economy.

Dear Abby

2009-01-03T17:38:00.000-08:00

I clipped this about three years ago from the Bangkok Post. I really don't know what to make of it and I'm not sure why I didn't clip Abby's advice as well. I wonder what Dan Savage would make of this.

Books

2009-01-03T17:17:00.000-08:00

On my nightstand:

Interesting factoid: in two of the books, God is a black woman.

Israel

2009-01-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

My work with the singing rabbi and his wife is on hiatus, which is fortunate since I definitely don't want to start discussing the situation in the Gaza Strip. I read this in today's NY Times:

The ground campaign brought new risks and the prospect of significantly higher casualties on both sides in a conflict that, even before the ground war started, had already taken the lives of more than 430 Palestinians and four Israelis.

I don't know the current statistics of casualties there, but these numbers indicate more of a one-sided "war". Much like USC in the Rose Bowl, the state of Israel has much more fire-power than Hamas. I don't enjoy watching one-sided games in sports and I have an sicker feeling to my stomach as I watch this unfold.

______
Jan. 9, 2009

A visual of the conflict can be found here: http://www.moiz.ca/coffin2.htm

Seattle vrs. Thailand, Part I

2009-01-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

In Thailand, we have to worry about snakes. Big ones, little ones, dangerous cobras and pythons, and benign green tree snakes. I find the reticulated pythons to be especially scary, though I have never crossed paths with one.

In Seattle, the only reticulated pythons we have would be a fraternity guy's "snake in the aquarium". Example: Hello, there. Would you like to come up to my room and see my snake?

Many a drunk sorority girl has heard that mating call, and many more will. Seattle's "reticulated snakes" are not lethal like the pythons in Thailand, but are definitely not benign either.

Another danger in Seattle relates to the buses that cruise our crowded streets. Reticulated buses are a danger in the snow as indicated by Brian.

So, which is more dangerous? Seattle or Thailand?

Indentured Servants

2008-12-29T22:27:00.000-08:00

Just read another article about "domestic slavery" or what appears to be "indentured servitude for children". In Africa, poor families will sell or "lease" their daughters to rich families to perform maid services. In some cases, the families then immigrate to the west, with their "servants" illegally along for the ride. The children typically do not go to school, are again often illiterate, and have no idea of what their rights are once in the west. This article tells the story of a girl who was brought to the US by an Egyptian family at age 10. She was lucky and the police intervened, but it took her several years to get back on her feet. I don't know why this is not more of a priority in this world.

Sex Slavery

2008-12-29T01:26:00.000-08:00

According to an MSN article that I just read, sex slavery is estimated to be a 9.5 billion dollar industry in the United States alone. The women or girls are often immigrants led here with visions of a better life. Scared, alone, and often not speaking English, they are traded like cattle. The Madams use the girls' ignorance to their advantage through intimidation so the girls won't phone the police or help the prosecution.

The other day, I wrote about a sex-slavery operation in Viet Nam and gloated that sex operations in Seattle would not have the same consequences for the women and children involved. Now I'm not so sure.

I also advocated an article that I read about the legalization of prostitution. I'm wondering how this would impact illegal human trafficking. Would decriminalization take away the black market aspect of sex? Or would there always remain a need for that segment of the population to have access to minors in that capacity? At what age could someone legally be a prostitute by choice?

Burning the Past

2008-12-28T21:25:00.000-08:00

For the "Salon of Shame" series. Only this time, I'm not the one who should be embarrassed.

My freshman year of college was full of the usual drinking, getting together with various guys from the dorm, and attending the occasional class. I started out the year hanging out with a couple of girls I knew from high school. This was my first mistake. I had problems with the girls and maligned them in my journal. Without my permission or knowledge, they read the journal together and decided to retaliate. And retaliate they did.

I came home from a party one night to find my teddy bear hanging from the ceiling by a noose with a note.

"The note said I should go to a different school because I thought I was better than everybody else and if I didn't watch it I'd end up like the animal. That part of it was a joke, but the rest was serious."

Funny stuff indeed. What the fuck? Obviously, I didn't stay friends with the girls and haven't seen them since. A few years ago I got a letter from one of them on Classmates.com -this was pre-Facebook. She wanted to apologize to me for how she acted. I could have responded, but it would have cost me the obligatory $15 fee to join for a "special membership". I decided it wasn't worth the money and didn't get back to her.

I'm burning the journal and with it, any evidence other than this post that this happened. I don't want to re-live the memory of the past.

Bibles for Porn

2008-12-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

Some Texas atheists started a rather unorthodox campaign-they are accepting people's bibles and are exchanging them for porn. http://www.xbiz.com/news/11518 The article doesn't specify the type of porn that is exchanged, but one would hope that participants can choose from a full range of porn, from Straight to Gay, and from Hard-Core to Playboy. A minister is quoted as saying no true believer would change his bible for porn, but how can this possibly be true? I mean, unless of course, it was a limited edition, pictoral bible with loads of full-frontal nudity. In that case, even I might keep my bible.

Which would you rather have:

a. a bible

b. a porn magazine

Not Rape

2008-12-26T14:16:00.000-08:00

Just read an amazing essay by a 24-year-old woman. Her story depicts the fine line between rape and not rape and places each in extrememly damaging lights.

Read it here.

Salon of Shame, Becksta, Part One

2008-12-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

Seattle has an event entitled "Salon of Shame" in which participants can read from their most embarrassing journal entries, stories, and poems, most of which come from the angst-filled teen-aged years. Cienna Madrid kicked ass at one as she read from a romance novel she had written at the tender age of 13.

As I was sorting through my journals, I realized that I might have some good material as well. Unrequited "love" was a big theme for me-I read too many teenage novels about young romance that always ended happily with the girl getting the boy of her dreams. Apparently, I was a big-time stalker with a nun-fetish. Proud moments indeed.

December 27, 1987

I've decided to become a nun. Maybe. First, I have to be a Catholic. I'm not anti-abortion so that might be kind of tough.

All I want is a reason why I don't have a boyfriend- if I was a nun, I'd have the perfect excuse, right? Well, I'll be back later today I'm sure.

February 1, 1988

I still like ___________. When I pointed out to him his habit of playing with the book holder thingy, he denied it and said that was the first time he had ever touched it. Hah! The eyes see everything. Doesn't he know that I observe his nuances and every movement?

February 7, 1988

I might as well be a nun, as celibate as I have been. Gosh, I need someone to kiss me soon or my lips are going to fall off.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Happiness

2008-12-21T11:58:00.000-08:00

"Happiness is a warm gun" or so croons John Lennon......referring not to the Second Amendment, but to keeping his finger on "your trigger". Of course, this was before the Internet. "A Harris study found that 46% of women and 30% of men would give up sex instead of Internet access for two weeks if forced to choose between them." For these women, perhaps the "trigger" is the keypad, instead of the "love button" as it was for Lennon. Of course, who's to say how much these women were actually "getting it" in the first place? If you're single and haven't had sex for months, the idea giving up sex for a week or two might not be that huge of a sacrifice.

In the US today, it's difficult to define Happiness. Is it really sex or the Internet or perhaps On Demand Cable TV? Is it the job, the kids, the house with the nice backyard, and a little vacation-time built up for the holidays? Is it something fleeting that lasts only a short time or does it truly build up inside you, much like a gooey mucus that can fill your lungs?

We're inundated with ads telling us that happiness is in a bottle, a new car, or a new video game console.

I don't know what to think. I read two conflicting reports. One was a study claiming that Happiness is a kind of virus, spreading through close connections with others. The closer a happy friend or neighbor lives, the happier you will be. (For some reason, this did not extend to spouses.) Another article talked about some Eugene high school students who rejuvenated the "Random Acts of Kindness" principle of the early '90s and formed a club. They planned their acts in advance and were met by resistance in the form of suspicious people and in one instance, mall security guards.

Maybe Happiness spreads to and from those we know, but fear wins out when strangers try to pass their Happiness onto others. Exceptions to this might be sporting events, Obamamania, and intimate glances to total strangers.

Korean Lawmakers Get Tough

2008-12-19T11:31:00.000-08:00

Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOWtQR13FtY

Do you think Nancy Pelosi would really have what it takes if she were a South Korean? It's amazing- South Korea and Japan pulled off one of the most peaceful world cups ever in 2002, but this is what their parliamentarians come down to when fighting about trade with the US.

Somehow a senate filibuster just doesn't compare. We didn't even get this excited over the impeachment of Clinton, the lack of WMD, Iran-Contra or Watergate. What up congress-people? Let's see some passion- you send people to fight for our country, but you're unwilling to put up your own fists.

Coolest Things Ever from My Little Ole LIfe

2008-12-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

Absolute worst pick-up line I've ever heard: I've climbed many an oak tree, but none as big as you.

Strangest compliment I've ever received: You are definitely soft, like a wet noodle.

Coolest dialog I've ever had: A: Are you high? Me: I'm high on life you motherfucker!

Decision to get married: very romantic. outside at the San Francisco Airport while smoking a Marlboro Light. En route to Korea.

Coolest present I've ever received: The incredible splatting penis, seen here....

Best contest in which I participated in: farting at the Escondido Taco Bell on my senior year road trip to the Grand Canyon, which incidentally, is indeed grand.

strangest living environment: this is a tie. either a.) living in a classroom in South Korea, complete with yucky floors, pastel-green walls with Korean writing on them, with the squat toilet bathroom down the hall and shared with three other teachers... or b.) living in a store-front in Seattle with a Grand piano as the only living room furniture

most embarrassing moment: in jr. high, when my bf's best friend thought it would be funny to strip me of my bikini top and dance around Vancouver Lake with it, to a crowd that included my entire school, as well as all of the other schools in the town....

Hummers

2008-12-16T22:58:00.000-08:00

Got your attention, didn't I? You thought I was talking about blow-jobs, when in reality I was talking about those large-tank-like vehicles gracing our roads. I've always hated them, but did experience a bit of schadenfraude when I read this:

Merle Sorenson, 48, had to be rescued from the Columbia River near Quincy, Wash., in October, where he nearly drowned after driving his Humvee off a boat launch. He told the rescuers that he was trying to clean his tires and wanted to see how far he could drive the vehicle into the water but still be able to back out.

Acid Attacks

2008-12-10T21:45:00.000-08:00

I recently read a disturbing Op-Ed piece in the NY Times about the use of acid attacks on the faces of women in Asia to subjugate them. The article mentions the girls who were on their way to school when they were attacked and talks about a woman who was attacked by her ex-husband as he came "to say goodbye to the children."

the article here

Again, I don't know what can be done about this. It is striking me more heavily as I read "Three Cups of Tea" about Greg Mortenson's life mission to build schools in Pakistan. http://www.threecupsoftea.com/ Apparently, the book was all the rage a couple of years ago, but it is still relevant.

It's a serious disconnect for me to read stories about the acid attacks from the comfort of my living room, MacBook on my lap, fire beside me, and husband to love.

Sex Workers, in SE Asia, and SE Seattle

2008-12-10T21:03:00.000-08:00

I usually write unimportant observations or link to funny things that happen to catch my fancy. That's what I started out doing today. I found an article about a cat who had his face re-attached after an incident with a fan belt. I found another link suggesting that OJ Simpson was buying Snickers for the other inmates. But these don't strike me as important after the last article I read concerning a brothel in Vietnam.

Vietnamese brothel 'kept women in cages'
Vietnamese police in Ho Chi Minh City have raided a massage parlor where women were kept in dog cages.

By Thomas Bell, South East Asia Correspondent
Last Updated: 10:01AM GMT 09 Dec 2008

According to the Thanh Nien newspaper 130 women were held as prisoners at the brothel and forced to work from nine in the morning until 3 a.m he following day. If they refused to perform sexual acts on customers they were severely punished by the owner, known as Tri, and his men.

"In nine months, I have seen more than 10 girls try to escape but they were captured, tortured by Tri and put in dog cages," said one of the rescued women.

The women, mostly from poor rural families, were kept as slaves in debt bondage. They said they were fed half a fish and a small bowl of soup at every meal, for which they were forced to pay £100 a month. Extra food cost an extra £2 per meal.

Tri and his men also held "birthday parties" every month and forced the women to give them "presents" of between £20 and £40. They also had to pay a "tuition fee" to learn sex acts, a fee of £600 to visit their families and £2000 to escape their jobs.

Interest on loans was charged at 10 per cent."

Police launched the raid after they received letters from the captive women. Seven men were reportedly arrested but the brothel owner, Tri, remains at large.

Guns and ammunition were also seized in the raid.

Recently, there were arrests made in Seattle after complaints that tanning salons, one called "Happy Tanning", were actually fronts for prostitution. I'm sure that the endings were "happy" and that the women working at these "fine establishments" had much more of a choice about it than women in other parts of the world.

Here's an opinion piece favoring the legalization of prostitution with some compelling reasons including health, safety, and taxation benefits, oh and some humor as well: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/saturdayspin/388923_sorbo22.html

I think I agree. Tanning salons, however, should be banned in and of themselves. I'm tired of seeing orangish faces in the dead of winter.

AIG Bailout

2008-12-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

It's a $150 billion gamble.

That's the size of the newly enlarged financial lifeline the U.S. government threw tottering insurance giant American International Group on Monday, expanding an aid package that's gradually grown since it began as an $85 billion loan in September.

Here

OK, that's all fine and dandy. Except for the fact that they took an expensive weekend retreat the first weekend, aren't loaning to other banks yet, and are spending big bucks to sponsor Manchester United. I realize that this is an advertising deal, and was in place before the bailout, but at the same time, it is the most expensive Uniform sponsoring in the history of European sports. I think it makes sense for Nike to be sponsoring them, but how much benefit do you think a bank/insurance company is getting from sponsoring them? Maybe it's poor decisions like these that led to their demise in the first place.

I read that the American government owns 80% of AIG now, but still doesn't know how or where the money is going. This is ridiculous.

OK, I just found this: http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/Story?id=6321691&page=1

True Love

2008-12-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

From the Stranger's I Saw U:

November Critical Mass

You were driving your SUV towards Fremont Bridge, and threatened to shoot me with your shot gun. You:Man with a shot gun. Me:Woman riding a bike Coffee sometime? (Dont bring your gun and promise I wont bring my u-lock...)

When: Friday, November 28, 2008

Where: Fremont Bridge

I saw a: Man

I am a: Woman

Date posted: Friday, December 5, 2008

This is absolutely romantic. It must be somebody's idea of a joke. Or maybe a commentary on our rough society and the accident a while ago that led to one participant actually being run over by a motorist.

Why Americans are Fat

2008-12-04T13:06:00.001-08:00

Twix and pizza — are these really diet foods?

According to MSN, yes they are. Do we really believe that crap? I love pizza and I love a Twix now and again, esp. peanut butter Twixes, but nowhere in my mind do I actually believe that this is diet food. Who the hell are these nutritionists and have they been paid off by Twix and Pizza Hut? Are we really that dumb? I mean, in Korea, the people are thin, and it's partially genetic, but mostly because they eat a ton of veggies every day.

It's about Time

2008-12-02T22:36:00.000-08:00

EU Repeals Straight Banana, Curvy Cucumber Laws
Posted Dec 2, 08 11:31 AM CST in Crime & Courts, World

(Newser) – The EU took a U-turn on curved cucumbers and bent bananas and voted to repeal strict laws that ban the sale of imperfect produce, the Washington Post reports. Shops are barred from selling cauliflower less than 4.33 inches in diameter and not-green-enough asparagus until July, when such laws—long mocked by the British tabloids—will be wiped for 26 fruits and vegetables.

I mean, geez, what are the poor Europeans supposed to do without curved cucumbers or bent bananas? When I first saw this, I thought it was an Onion article. However, the site I found it on looks reputable enough. I mean, at least some of the articles look legit. My second thought was that this had to be in the US. I thought Americans were the only ones crazy enough to pass a bill like this. Just look at our holidays- what's with Groundhog's Day anyway? I never realized how ridiculous that was until I explained it to my students today.

IKEA and Beyond

2008-12-02T21:24:00.001-08:00

We moved into a new apartment about a month ago, and had almost all the furniture that we needed, sans somewhere to sleep. Weeks of couch-crashing and floor-sleeping had imparted on me the necessity of getting something to sleep on, asap. The in-laws had promised a bed soon, so we decided to go to IKEA for a sleeper-sofa. That was our first mistake.

Somehow in ten years of traveling back and forth between Seattle, Thailand, and Korea, I had escaped IKEA. I knew about it, but had never been. Once inside, we ran right into the sofa beds and were helped by a not-so-knowledgeable sales-girl and picked out our bed. After that, getting through the rest of the maze that is IKEA was sheer and utter hell. It's a labyrinth of IKEA marketing. Every corner and every twist provided not an exit, but more arrows pointing to an ever-eluding exit and cashier.

I get anxiety sometimes, and I think that this was perhaps one of the worst experiences of this kind in my life, and was strangely reminiscent of an earlier Stephen King novel, perhaps The Shining. Next time, I will be packing heavy drugs, and I don't mean Ativan.

Ruminations on the Pretzel, a Beloved Food

2008-12-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

I love pretzels. So does the Israeli couple I teach- they bring Costco pretzels, which are apparently Kosher, to nearly every meal. Today, the wife ate her pretzels, but only after picking off all of the salt on the pretzels, pushing the salt onto a napkin, and then onto the floor. I don't know about you, but when I eat pretzels, I'm all about the salt.

Remember when George Bush choked on his pretzel in 2002 when he was watching a football game? Apparently, he failed to take his mother's advice:

"My mother always said when you're eating pretzels, chew before you swallow," he said before boarding a helicopter to Illinois.

The incident comes almost exactly 10 years after President Bush's father, George Bush Snr, famously collapsed and vomited as he was seated next to Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa during a state banquet in Tokyo.

You gotta love the Bushes, don't you?

Back to pretzels....someone told me and I think I read in an e-mail that if pretzels are served on the bar collectively, and all sorts of people are diving in, there will be on average 17 different different urine specimens on the remaining pretzels because of MEN not washing their hands after peeing. My initial research into this pressing matter has not resulted in a confirmation. Of course, neither has it resulted in denial of the facts.

Also related to urine and pretzels, a quick search found this warning to vegans about this (animal) ingredient:

U
Urea. Carbamide.
Excreted from urine and other bodily fluids. In deodorants, ammoniated dentrifices, mouthwashes, hair colorings, hand creams, lotions, shampoos, etc. Used to "brown" baked goods, such as pretzels. Derivatives: Imidazolidinyl Urea, Uric Acid. Alternatives: synthetics.

Uric Acid.
(See Urea.)

Great, I'm pretty excited that pretzels contain animal urine. On Snopes, however, this is debunked because the ingredient is often synthetic.

Differences between Korea and Seattle, part I

2008-11-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

The Cheerleaders

I went to a Seahawks game the other day. Despite the fact that the team has a terrible record and lost the game to the Redskins, the Seagals were fantastic-they looked great and were in control of their bodies and dance routines. In Korea, on the other hand, the cheerleaders look great, but lack a certain spark. Their dance routines look like the University talent show routines that Korean students typically do. Cute, but not too sexy. I'm not sure if this is because Korean men prefer their women cute and innocent or if this is indeed the cheerleader's preferred style of cheering.

Plastic Surgery

There seems to be a lot more plastic surgery going on in Seattle than there was ten years before I embarked on my great adventure. Basically, I can separate it into two noticeable categories: boob jobs, and older women trying to fend off aging with face lifts, brow lifts, and the like. Whether or not this is good thing is not my aim to debate today. I just want to compare plastic surgery in Korea to here. In Korea, many women are flat-chested, but from what I can see from the gym, boob jobs don't seem to be a popular surgery. Instead, many young women, if not a full majority of young women, opt for the double eye-lid surgery, which widens their eyes. The surgery is inexpensive and seems to come with little side-effects. I'm told that another popular surgery is nose-brow surgery. While many caucasians wish for smaller noses, it seems that Koreans strive for longer noses, making this surgery popular in South Korea. In the past, hymen-reconstruction surgery was a hit with young brides trying to restore their virginity before their wedding day. Since then, Korea has definitely become more liberal, so I don't know if this is still popular or not.

Sex in the US of A, part Deux

2008-11-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

Finally, there seems to be a merging of the religious right and the touchy topic of sex that makes a little bit more sense. To help a struggling marriage, add more sex proclaims a pastor

"sexperiment, seven days of sex,” he said, with his characteristic mix of humor, showmanship and Scripture. “How to move from whining about the economy to whoopee!”

Before you get too excited and think that the religious right have totally turned themselves around, the single are still out of luck. "Try chocolate cake." is his only advice for the singles in his congregation. No helpful guides for single women looking in private for their G-spots and most definitely no advice for how to practice safe sex.
I really don't understand the religious right's refusal to acknowledge that, from adolescence on, most people have active sex drives.

As a case in point for Abstinence-Only Sex ed, look at Britney, once the perfect model for it in her skimpy outfits and public romance with Timberlake, has now become the pussy-flashing weirdo of the music scene with a pregnant teenage sister.

The Rainbow Connection

2008-11-19T23:03:00.000-08:00

Everybody loves a rainbow, right? That's what I always thought, but was quickly disabused of that notion during a recent lesson with the singing rabbi and his wife.
After I got done bragging about Seattle's beautiful rainbows, they told me rainbows were not at all considered cool in Israel.

According to them, in Israel, if someone sees a rainbow, they don't mention it to anyone.

I asked why. I am totally ignorant of the Torah, so had no idea of any connection between God, Noah, and Rainbows. According to the singing rabbi's wife, after it rained and Noah had built his Ark, God said that it would never rain again unless people were bad. And this is why Jewish people do not like rainbows.

There could be a language barrier in there somewhere.I don't know, but this is the story I got.

If Tara is Shocked, I'm shocked

2008-11-18T22:52:00.001-08:00

When I clicked out of my hotmail account, I discovered that Tara is shocked by a survey showing, well, all kinds of shocking things about girls.

Things like this:

* On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
* 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
* 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex.
* 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex.
* One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom.
* About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone.
* One out of three teens has tried drugs.

I'm thinking that times they are a'changing.

-The average age when I was in high school was maybe 15 and a half.
-I knew one teen mom when I went to school and the rest of us didn't have any aspirations to join her. Maybe it's a coastal thing? The article goes on to quote a girl who got pregnant intentionally by learning her menstrual patterns, which apparently she learned in school? I'm thinking this abstinence/no birth control education that we got going on now had better change pronto.
-I never hit anyone, unless of course you count younger brothers.
-I think more people in my high school tried drugs, especially if you count marijuana as a drug.

I would really like to see a survey about similar topics in Korea. Most Koreans are so mum on sexual matters.

When I first started teaching, one of my students was really excited to tell me allllll about hymen reconstruction surgery. He said that, second to the double eye lid surgery, it was the most popular surgery in Korea. This was maybe ten years ago, so I don't know if this is still done today or not. I'm somehow guessing that 15 is not the average age for a girl to lose her virginity in Korea.

You Seok!

2008-11-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

Korean names don't always sound right in English.

-You Seok
-Beom Seok
-Mi Seok

and so on, right on down the "seok" train. "seok" being pronounced something very close to "suck" in English. and "beom" being pronounced "beom"

This created a dilemma for me. Should I have told the students what their names meant in English, just in case they ever had to deal with an American or take a trip to anywhere in the world? I kept silent. As I look back, I'm debating whether or not this was the right move.

Imagine the possibilities.

A: What's your name?
B: You suck.

That should go over real well at Immigration.

Some names are kind of cool.

I personally like

Young Gun
Seok Mi

and

of course.....switching over to Thai......Fyuck Kyou....it's not a name, but a benign word for "pumpkin".

Pirates and Obama, the tenuous connection

2008-11-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

Both The Stranger (http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/11/18/african_pirates_in_the_age_of) and Scott Adams (http://dilbert.com/blog/entry/pirates/)are linking the Somalian Pirates and Obama, the connection being that now that Obama is president anything is possible. Tenuous as the connection may be,it's a good thing that the pirates waited until after the election. Obama's influence over pirates the world round escaped even Palin's notice. Everybody's scared of pirates, right? I mean, especially mean rubber duckie pirates like this one. I'm thinking that Bert and Ernie would be disgraced by this.

This just in: a month late

Obama reminisced about the pirate sword and "little mustache" he wore when he was 3 years old, calling it "one of the best costumes of all time."

"Ah, it was outstanding," he said.

Surely, the pirates read this.

Sad News In Afghanistan

2008-11-14T18:16:00.000-08:00

While we liberals in the US laud the fact that Obama is our next president and lament the fact that gays can no longer get married in California, female Afghani students have something more to think about.

From YahooNews:

Acid attacks keep Afghan girls away from classes

This makes me so sad. Having just read "Kabul Beauty School" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" back to back a few months ago and reading about the plight of the Afghanis, this news really struck a chord with me. In the US, we came very close to having a woman elected as President, but in Afghanistan, apparently, it is dangerous for a girl to even attend school.

I don't know what the answer is to situations like this. I think Americans tend to live very insular lives- I know I do.

The News

2008-11-14T17:55:00.000-08:00

The News from the Fam:

Dad: Through a propensity to be trusting, seems to have gotten his car stolen. The car was for sale, and the would-be-purchaser kept the car overnight because his "sister had been in a terrible car accident." The next day, the would-be-buyer's mother called to confirm that the "sister" had died. Two days later, after more phone calls and no car, my Dad called the police to report the car stolen. They apparently had trouble believing the car was stolen, wondering how somebody could be so gullible.

The crux: No comprehensive coverage on the car.

The car: Last seen leaving The Dalles.

Dad's reaction to the theft of the car: I'm not going to stop trusting people just because of this one mistake.

More News from Dad: A student of a friend of my Dad's hung himself. His friends were devastated, especially since they didn't think he had seemed suicidal. The evidence came in: auto-erotica.

Dad's Reaction this news: I didn't realize people did this. I don't know what people are thinking. Why would somebody do that?

I chose not to telephone my 94-year-old grandmother to get a reaction to either story.

Beck's Bloomberg Report, Part II.

2008-11-13T17:27:00.000-08:00

More reason to believe that the stock market sucks. Despite the fact that the economy is shambles and people are losing their jobs, the stock market rallied today to close with a 500-point plus gain. What up with that?

In more grim economic news released Thursday, the number of newly laid-off workers applying for jobless benefits last week hit the highest level since the period right after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

As the economy weakens, the government's fiscal picture was projected to deteriorate, too, with layoffs cutting into tax revenues and forcing higher payouts for programs such as unemployment benefits and food stamps.

Unemployment, which jumped to a 14-year high of 6.5 percent in October, is now projected to climb above 8 percent. Sohn said that will further crimp government tax revenues, which were down 7.5 percent in October compared with a year ago.

The stream of negative news initially sent Wall Street down sharply, with the Dow Jones industrial average briefly dropping below 8,000. The markets later rebounded with a fury, closing up about 550 points.

The article further goes on to say how Walmart might be partially responsible for the surge since its doing so well. Which is great, since we all know how great of an employer Walmart is. I'm glad to see that the market is actually rewarding the right corporations for a change.

Prop. 8 and Magic Mormon Underwear

2008-11-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

Posted some rainbow men's panties a while back- contrast this with the video below....come on folks, which underwear do you think are truly more sacred and magical? I say we all start wearing rainbow underwear until the California courts turn over Prop. 8. What do you think?

Magic Mormon Underwear via: The Stranger (of course!)

the butterfly woman and death

2008-11-12T22:31:00.000-08:00

about three and a half weeks ago, i dreamed about a naked butterfly woman, trapped, but still flying. i woke up confused. who was the butterfly woman? was i a butterfly woman? trapped by marriage? society? my addiction to chocolate and occasional thirst for beer?

then, two nights ago, i dreamed i died a thousand deaths. i felt an invisible wire around my neck, snapping it, my head falling. i felt blood gushing out of me when my head was actually dry. silent gun shots reverberated through my head. i woke up, alive, and confused again.

sometimes, as i fall asleep, my world is black. i do not see visions in my head or colors in my dreams.

Question

2008-11-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

If indoors is the opposite of outdoors, why isn't outcome the opposite of income?

All I Ever Needed to Know about the United States, I Learned from Sarah Palin

2008-11-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

All I Needed to Know about the United States, I Learned from Sarah Palin

1.People in “Small Towns” are “Real Americans”, while the rest of us are apparently “fake Americans?.”
2. It is “American” to whip a rally into a racist lynch mob mentality, because afterall, we don’t want to turn our great nation over to a man who “pals around with terrorists”.
3. Alaskans are in a unique position to keep an eye on Russia.
4. The Vice President has, like, absolute power over the senate. Shit, yeah, dude!
5. Community Organizers just, like, pretend to work, but don’t really do anything. Especially not when compared to someone with HUGe responsibilities, like the mayor of a very small town.
6. God has a plan for the Iraq war.
7. New Hampshire is not in the Northeast as some “Fake Americans” would have us believe, but in the Northwest. Possibly near Oregon or Idaho.
8. God has a special place for women. In fact, "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women." --Sarah Palin.
9.The bailout that was passed earlier in the year will “help those who are concerned about healthcare reform.” Gee, isn’t that great?

For many of the direct quotes that led to these fascinating revelations:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/a/palinisms_2.htm

Deep Thought of the Day

2008-11-11T19:32:00.001-08:00

No, it's not mine. Nothing deep happened to me today unless you count me being stuck knee-deep in mud-puddles.

I found my old Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey book that was bequeathed to me by my friend Nicole, aka "Queen Dork"

Advice to Vampires: why not "do your business as a bat, not a human. Easier that way, and less pollution.

Funniest Thing I Read all Day

2008-11-11T19:29:00.001-08:00

from The Stranger:

News Flash: Scarlett Johannson is nothing but a clone!

Rainbow Underwear

2008-11-11T12:04:00.001-08:00

I'm putting this up in protest of Prop. 8.

Enough said.